10 Tips on how to make peace with who you are (or how to learn to love yourself more)
There is nothing wrong with striving to be a better person, as anyone who has any ambition at all will know. But, when that ambition is to turn you into a different person altogether, then that becomes an unattainable goal and, as the Dalai Lama put it, “We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” If you are one of the many people who struggle with the concept of inner peace, then read these ten tips on how to make peace with who you are and how to learn to love yourself more:
1. Learn to forgive others, as well as yourself
Holding onto grudges will never bring peace, so learning to forgive other people is important and learning to forgive yourself is essential too. You can’t change the past and everyone, including you, makes mistakes, so forgive, forget and move on with your life.
2. Celebrate your achievements and successes, even small ones
Forget all the things that you haven’t done and remind yourself of all things that you have accomplished. When you sit down and really think about it, you will find that you have a lot more things to be more proud of, than you do to regret.
3. Accept what cannot be changed
We can’t control everything that happens and we can’t do a lot to change who we are. We can, however, change the way in which we look at these things that we can’t change. Learning to accept that something’s simply cannot be changed is a good step toward finding inner peace and happiness.
4. Set realistic challenges and learn to say ‘no’ without any guilt
Taking on more work than you can handle or setting yourself unrealistic targets will only get you down. Everyone has different skills and talents, so focus your efforts on the things that you do well and you’ll feel much better about yourself. Also, learn how to say ‘no’, when people ask too much of you.
5. Look outward to put things back in perspective
You think that you’ve got problems? Well, take a look around you or just watch the TV news and that will put things back in perspective for you. Constantly looking inward will only make you overanalyze what you see as your own problems and failings, when really, they are not as important as you think.
6. Fully embrace your beliefs
Don’t be afraid to follow your beliefs, whether they are religious or otherwise. Not compromising on what you believe to be right can create a solid foundation for your own self-respect and your belief in yourself.
7. Do the things that you enjoy, steer your life towards the ‘feel good’ things
If you hate your job, then quit! Things like this are always easier said than done, but make the effort to find things that you really enjoy and do them. Steer your life, as best as you can, towards the things that you know will make you happy, not the things that will make other people happy.
8. Don’t compare yourself to other people, embrace your own uniqueness, beauty and talents
The grass always appears to be greener on the other side, but it rarely ever is, so don’t try and emulate other people or resent what you think makes them a better person than you. Be proud of who and what you are, and remember that those other people can’t do some things as well as you can either. Embrace your own beauty, your talents and your uniqueness, there is only one YOU in this world, you are irreplaceable!
9. Accept that you cannot know everything; fully embrace and savor the present moment
You are a work in progress, so don’t beat yourself up about not being perfect. Keep learning, keep trying and keep growing as a person, and then you can be happy that you are the best person that you can be, for today, but tomorrow’s another day. Make the most of the present moment and try to find pleasure and joy in little things of life.
10. Love and respect yourself
Do unto others as you would have them do to you, is a well-known saying, but how about ‘do unto you as you would do unto others?’ In other words, be kind to yourself as well as to your family and friends, because you are a person too, a great person!
How to learn to love yourself more? What are your tips?