10 Tips On How To Be Your Own Role Model
I remember reading Tony Robbins’ Ultimate Power for the first time when my life was at a bit of a crossroads. I had a terrible sense of groundlessness and really didn’t know where I was going in life.
The book taught me one very important thing that stood out: If we want to be a success at anything, we must find others who have been a success before us. Then, we should model our lives on theirs.
So I set out to do just that. I picked three people I admired the most and began to study their habits, behaviours and choices.
It worked for a while and I did see some positive changes in my life. But eventually I started to realise that looking to others for inspiration meant that I wasn’t looking within myself. I was constantly playing roles. I was acting. I was shadowing other people. My decisions were at odds with my actual values. I felt like a fake. I felt distant from who I really was.
Over the years, I’ve found that it’s okay to model yourself on someone else, but that it’s also important that you be your own role model, too.
It’s YOU that has to set your own standards. It’s YOU that has to decide on your values and stick to them. It’s YOU that has to consistently do the right thing.
If you want to be a better role model for yourself so that your thoughts and actions are always consistent with your values and morals, here are my top 10 tips on how to be your own role model.
Learn How To Make Positive Choices
There is an episode of Frasier when Frasier powerfully sums up what ethics is: Ethics is not what we do when others are watching us. It’s what we do when they’re not watching us.
Anyone can do the right thing when they know they’re being watched. But how many of us do the right thing when we know we’re not being watched? We’ve all cut corners and told white lies. It’s just part of the game of life.
But if you want to be a better role model to yourself, it’s time to start making positive choices. In other words, it’s time to do the right thing all the time.
Is a person who eats junk food and gets too drunk each weekend really going to the one who inspires you? I didn’t think so.
A healthier you is a more productive and inspiring you. Put the right foods into your body from now on.
Apologise And Admit When You Were Wrong
I dislike stubbornness. I think it’s a really negative trait that stops a person from growing. If you hang out with stubborn people who show no signs of changing, I suggest moving on from them.
But before you do, look at yourself first. How ready and willing are you admit when you’ve made a mistake? Or are you the kind of person who continues to insist that you did nothing wrong?
Admitting mistakes is important for a few reasons but more important than anything else is that owning up to an error gives you the chance to atone and learn.
We learn from our mistakes. It’s how we grow. But if we’re too stubborn to first of all accept that we made a mistake in the first place, we will never grow.
Be Prepared To Fail
If you aren’t prepare to fail, you’re scared to live your life. Take the risks and deal with the consequences. If you fail, learn from it and get back on the horse.
Respect Other People
Part of the problem I had when modelling myself on other people was that they didn’t always share the values I had had since childhood. And because I’m a firm believer that the values we have as children are the ones we have for life, I knew that I had to become my own role model.
Your personality might change as you get older, and your habits and behaviour might change, too. But your core values always remain the same, even if you don’t always stick to them.
It’s like when you have a few cocktails. The alcohol and the context sometimes causes you to say and do things you regret the next day. You weren’t being true to yourself, but by acknowledging your erred, you’re acknowledging that you have immutable values.
Respect is a huge deal. Respect yourself and everyone else. Don’t ever take a day off from respect. Respect children, your elders, rich people, poor people … respect everyone.
Be Kind To People
“Practice kindness every day to everyone and you will realise that you’re already in heaven now.”
– Jack Kerouac
Don’t be mean to people. Be kind. Show compassion every day. This will inspire you and those around you. Life is more beautiful when you show love.
Okay, so you’ve made a decision to finally do something. But are you going to stick to it this time?
Possibly not, right?
Okay. But failing to stick to a decision is bad form. If you can’t finish something you started, you wont’ achieve your potential. You will always be stuck in development hell. You will remain where you started.
Sometimes we don’t follow something through because we fear we’re not good enough and that we’ll fail. But following something through and achieving it proves to yourself that you are good enough. And if you did it once, you can do it again.
Dress To Impress
People who walk around in their rags don’t impress us. And when you look at yourself in the mirror wearing your worst, baggy clothes, you’re hardly going to feel inspired.
Give yourself a boost each day by dressing to kill all the time.
Confidence is so important. Without it, we will struggle to achieve anything.
Think of all your role models in life. The one thing they all had in common without fail was confidence.
To become the person who inspires yourself, you need to have confidence in your abilities. Without it, it’s impossible to be your own role model.
So make snap decisions. Take the lead. Grab the bull by the horns.
Lastly, a good role model is one who is sincere, honest and open. Make sure this is you.