What is true friendship? 10 Reasons to let go of friends that weigh you down
As hard as it may be to accept, not all friends are good for you, and sometimes you have to let go friends who are dragging you down. That may sound a little selfish, but it is not really, because we have a responsibility to ourselves for our own happiness, as well as a responsibility towards others. If you have a friend who is holding you back, or weighing you down, here are ten reasons that would suggest that you may have to take that tough decision to let them go.
1. The friendship is all on her terms
If you find yourself always doing what your friend wants to do and you don’t feel that you can speak up and ask to do the things that you want to do, then your friend is controlling you and that is never a good sign. Friendships are a two way thing, not a one way street.
2. When you really need her, she’s never around
A good friend will help you through the tough times and be there for you when you need her. If your friend seems to evaporate when you really need her help, but she still expects you to drop everything when she needs you, then this is another sign of a friendship that is seriously out of balance.
3. They never really listen to what you are saying
When you can’t be sure if a person is really paying attention to what you are saying, then that person is not being a good friend to you at all. Probably one of the most valuable things that someone can do for a friend is to listen and be a good sounding board. If nothing else, it is disrespectful to not listen properly to a friend and it shows that this person is not taking the friendship seriously.
4. They dismiss your ideas
A friend should be a person who encourages you to do well and to follow your dreams. They may not always agree with you, and they may sometimes have some constructive input for you, but they should never just dismiss your ideas out of hand. A friend should be a person that helps you to grow, not hold you back.
5. They have become way too clingy
When you go round for coffee and she insists that you stay for the weekend, then this is a friend who is becoming far too reliant on you. A friendship should not make you feel like you are trapped in an unhappy marriage, tied down by a clingy partner. A friendship should be more relaxed than that, and you should never feel pressurised into staying for longer than you really want to.
6. They make a drama out of nothing
A friend that seems to be able to turn on you, over the silliest of little things, is no friend at all. Some people seem to get their kicks out of creating arguments out of nothing and you can go from being your best friend ever, to worst human being alive, in ten seconds flat. This kind of friend really is just too much hard work to make the friendship worthwhile.
7. They get jealous
If you have a friend that gets jealous of your boyfriends, or your other girlfriends, then we are getting into the realms of a serious problem here! No one likes to feel like they’ve been dumped, or shut out, but you have every right to go out with other people sometimes. If this sounds like a friend of yours, then letting go would be a very good idea.
8. They a never have any money
This one is a tricky one to mention without sounding really hard and selfish. Of course, you should help out a friend in need, or pay a bigger share when they are a bit short of money, but you shouldn’t become your friend’s personal overdraft facility! If it feels like you are being used for money, then you really should put a stop to the money lending, or end the friendship straight away.
9. They demotivate you
Some people like to share their own unhappiness by making their friends unhappy. We are talking about the eternal pessimist who will drain you of all your ambition, motivation and energy, simply because they have none themselves. If you leave every meeting with your friend feeling totally demotivated, that’s another very good reason to cut your ties with them.
10. You don’t really like them anymore
You can just outgrow somebody and feel that it is time to move on in a different direction. Just because you know a person and you have been friends with them for some time, that doesn’t mean that you have to be close friends forever. It is very important that we all have friends who will inspire us and with whom we can share a friendship on an equal footing. It can be very hard to pull away from a friend who is weighing you down, but you have to do what is right for you, as kindly as you can
What is true friendship for you?