10 Funny things to ask Siri

Although Siri, Apples’ virtual assistant, is not real artificial intelligence, the programmers at Apple have done a pretty good job of making her sound like she has a mind of her own. Siri was designed to make tasks in your phone simpler to perform, but you can have a lot more fun with her, than simply asking her to make an appointment in your diary for you. If you’ve never tried asking Siri anything more taxing than the time of the day, here are ten funny things to ask Siri. You’ll find that Siri has attitude, as well as a sense of humour.

1. “I’m Drunk”

Siri must have heard this one a few times by now. After all, if you can’t confide in your phone, who can you tell? The virtual assistant takes a responsible attitude to your state of inebriation by telling you: “I hope you are not driving” and offers you a button to select to call a cab.

2. “Make me a sandwich”

Another one of funny things to ask Siri is to request her to make you a sandwich. Even Siri has her limitations and asking her to rustle up a tasty snack for you is still, at the moment, out of her reach. Ask her to make you a sandwich and she is likely to answer: “I’m not permitted to prepare food”. But, remember, Siri is evolving, so her answers may change every day.

3. “The blue pill or the red pill?”

She’s also would appear to have a pretty good knowledge of science fiction movies too, and anyone who has ever watched the Matrix will understand what this question is all about. In the movie, the choice was to wake up in the real world, or in the computer generated world of the Matrix. Either way, it seems that your virtual assistant would still be working, because Siri answers with the reassuring: “Either way… I’ll still be here when you wake up”.

4. “When will pigs fly?”

Here is another one of funny things to ask Siri: “When will pigs fly?” For a lot of questions, Siri has a range of possible answers, so you never know what you will get. When asked the rather strange question of “when will pigs fly?”, she might answer: “When they grow wings”,” When they buy tickets”, or “When inserted into a circus cannon whose fuse is lit”. What is even stranger than the question itself, is that someone at Apple thought that more than one answer would be needed.

5. “What is the meaning of life?”

Apples’ alternative to Microsoft’s Cortana, also has some interesting insights into some of the deeper questions that you might be searching an answer for. According to Siri, the meaning of life is: “To be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try to live in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and all nations”.

6. “Does Santa Clause exist?”

Kids also have many options of  funny things to ask Siri. You are safe letting your children loose with Siri, and she will keep them occupied for hours! If they ask the question that all kids want to know about Santa, Siri hedges her bets with a reply of: “There is not a unique computable answer to that question. Possible answers include: a) Santa Clause is as real as you wish him to be; if you believe in Santa, then he is real. b) Saint Nicholas is the common name for the real person Nicholas of Myra, a saint and historical Bishop of Myra. c) Santa gives gifts to children, therefore he is”.

7. “Where to buy drugs?”

You even get a bit humour with a question like: “Where can I buy drugs?” Thankfully, Siri doesn’t provide you with a list of local drug dealers, she responds with this instead: “What kind of places are you looking for? Addiction treatment centres or drug stores”.

8. “What are you wearing?”

This is another one of funny things to ask Siri. Just to make sure the illusion of Siri being intelligent is kept alive, she can also grow tired of answering that same question over and over again. Having grown weary of being asked what she is wearing, she now answers: “Why do people keep asking me that question?”

9. “What is the best computer?”

Siri is loyal to her makers too. If you ask what is the best computer, she will, of course, answer: “The Apple Macintosh is my favourite computer”. Ask her what the best phone is and she will say will be a little more to the point with: “Wait… there are other phones?”

10. “What is zero divided by zero?”

Siri’s response to this mathematical conundrum recently went viral after breaking bad actor Aaron Paul discovered that Siri has the following answer: “Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See? It doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends.”

Funny things to ask Siri are pretty unlimited.

Have fun!


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