Looking for love? Simple steps and tips on how to find the right partner for you
It can be pretty hard to find the right partner, especially when we know that people change, some people behave differently when in a permanent relationship, rather than just dating, and sometimes you can simply misread a person. Nothing in life comes with a cast iron guarantee, but there are some ways that you can be a little surer in your mind that a person will make a good partner and here are just some of them…
First, let’s look at 3 simple steps on how to find the right partner for you:
Step 1. Write down a list of reasons why you love yourself…
Yes, you understood me right. Before even starting to look for a partner, you need to undeniably and unconditionally fall in love with yourself, because who in the world can fall in love with the person who doesn’t love herself/himself? So, please, do this little exercise and write down the list of things why you think you are awesome and great, and why you love yourself (this exercise will make you feel great and will boost your self confidence, I promise). If you never thought about it before and you never expressed love toward yourself, well, may be this is the right time to change it?…If you are a christian and you need a proof of God’s approval for it, here is the Bible reference: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ (when God says so, He means it!). When you accept and love yourself totally and completely (forgiving yourself is also important), it will be a lot easier for you to find loving and caring partner for a happy and harmonious relationship, the partner who will love and accept you for who you really are…Actually, doing this self-love exercise can be beneficial for anyone, not just for those who look for love…
Step 2. Find out what do you want
Even when we try to chose new shoes in a shop, we take time, try different ones on and look in the mirror multiple times…Well, probably shoes and the partner is not exactly the right comparison, but you get my point. When you are looking for a wonderful, loving partner for life, it’s thousands of times more important to make the right choice, then shoes. So, in order to get exactly what you want, you need to know what it is that you want…Well, I don’t invite you to write a big list of qualities (even though it can be a good thing to do too)…Instead, I suggest for you to write down and describe your relationship with this ‘ideal’ partner. How would you feel next to him/her? What would you do together? How he/she treats you?…Imagine in your mind the ideal relationship and describe it on paper. This step will help you draw a picture of what you really want, and that will be your guide.
Step 3. Act! Get up, dress up and show up!
Once you know what you want, now it’s time to act, because if you stay at home, waiting until your ‘ideal’ partner will knock your door, it might actually never happen; and I’m not inviting you to desperately start looking…instead, I invite you to be prepared and show up in different places where your true love can find you, and believe me, it can happen in the most unexpected places…Find some places and events where you and your potential partner could meet: workshops, classes, events, and online dating sites eventually; and let he/she meet you there…
Now let’s look at some general tips on how to chose the right partner for you:
1. Look for someone who you like to talk to, as well as to listen to
Looks, butterflies and excitement might all make for a great initial attraction, but as time moves on, talking to one another will become more and more important. If you can’t tell each other everything and offer each other a sympathetic shoulder to cry on, then it’s likely that you haven’t found the right partner yet.
2. Don’t jump into marriage too quickly
Love at first sight may work in movies, but it’s not often that way in real life. They used to call it courting, we now call it dating, but it amounts the same thing, a trial run to see, if you will really be compatible in the long run.
3. A shared sense of humor
A shared sense of humor really will help you through life together. Make sure that your potential partner can make you laugh and you can be sure that they will able to put a smile back on your face on those days in the future, when you will be feeling down.
4. ‘…Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks…’
Listen carefully to the things that your partner says and don’t brush the comments that you don’t want to leave under the carpet. People’s personality does come out in their conversation, even if they’re trying to hide something, so listen hard and remember, you probably can’t change their views.
5. Don’t look for the carbon copy
Your personalities in a long term relationship should complement each other, but shouldn’t be totally identical. Avoid going for someone who is exactly like you or you will soon run out of things to talk about and life could become pretty boring.
6. It is better to be alone than in bad company
Don’t let fear rule your heart. You might not wish to be alone, but that’s a far better option, than being in an unhappy relationship. The fear of loneliness makes many people enter into, and stay in, bad relationships – a situation to be avoided at all costs. No wonder George Washington said: “It is better to be alone than in bad company.”
7. Don’t always go for ‘your type’
Ditch your pre-conceived ideas of what makes your type of partner and try something different for a change. People can grow on each other and sometimes, the differences are exactly what keeps a relationship interesting.
8. Look for the core foundations of a partnership
Forget the tiny and unimportant aspects and make sure that the fundamentals are in place first. The key qualities of love, care, honesty, integrity, kindness and respect will see you through a life together, but if they are missing, you could be in for a rough ride.
9. Check out their relationship with their family
A person who has a loving and caring relationship with their parents and family is most likely to be a loving and caring person in a relationship. It seems like a big generalization to make, but, if you are contemplating becoming ‘family’ with this person, then you will want to know how they treat their own.
10. Be sure that you can be yourself around your partner
It’s important that you still have room to breathe in a relationship and be yourself. Your home should be the safe place, where you can sit back and relax in your cosy pajamas, and drop all pretense and acting. If your partner wants you to be someone else, and not the person that you truly are, then perhaps your partner should find somebody else instead. Spend your life with a person who makes you happy, not with someone you need to impress.
11. One important question…
Ask yourself this helpful question: ‘Do I become a better person when I am next to him/her?’ If the answer is ‘yes’, then you are definitely on the right track.
Do you have other tips for those who are looking for love? How to find the right partner? Feel free to share your own dating knowledge in the comment section.
Stay happy and I believe that those who look for love will find it!