10 Super-helpful tips on how to survive a breakup
Sadly, breakups are as a much a part of life as eating and drinking are, and we all go through a few in our time. That’s little consolation, though, when you have just been hit with the news that its’s over. What you really need is some practical advice on how to get through it. The first thing you need to understand is that the emotions you are feeling are perfectly natural. It’s actually quite similar to the withdrawal symptoms you get when you give up smoking. You will miss him, you will feel lost without him and, yes, you will even crave him. But, just like a smoker giving up smoking, you will eventually learn to live without him. Here are ten super helpful, and very practical, tips on how to survive a breakup.
1. Don’t do anything too drastic, yet
You are in emotional turmoil right after a breakup, so now is not the time to make any major decisions. Sure, you may feel like quitting your job, selling your home, and moving to a remote island to live on your own, but that probably wouldn’t be the best decision you ever made in your life! Let things settle down and give yourself time to heal, before you make any attempt at deciding what’s next for you.
2. Don’t bottle it all up
Don’t be one of those people who battle on through, pretending nothing has happened. That’s not being brave, that’s called denial. You will need to allow yourself to grieve for a while, so let it all out, and don’t be afraid to have a good cry.
3. Make it a clean break
If it’s over, then it’s over, so, un-friend him, un-follow him, and avoid going to the places that you know he will be. You need to start getting on with the rest of your life now. Stalking him will just get in the way of you moving on. You may think that you don’t want to do these things right now, and it will be tough, but distance yourself from him and it will make it easier to get over him.
4. Rearrange or redecorate your home
Another way to make it feel like a fresh start is to rearrange all the furniture in your home, or even redecorate it completely. The more you can do to avoid the memories, the easier it will be to cope with the breakup. When you’ve finished your decorating, invite some friends around a “house warming” party and celebrate the beginning of your new life.
5. Remember that you only have to get through one day at a time
Don’t start thinking about how you will get through the next year, or even the next week, just think about getting through the next day. That’s all you have to do, take it one day at a time and, before you know it, a week will have passed by much easier than you thought it would.
6. Talk about it
Talking about it is good therapy for many kinds of emotional crises, so confide in a close friend or family member. You don’t need to face it all on your own and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed to admit to someone that you are upset. It’s quite likely that they have experienced breakups themselves, so they will understand and they will be able to provide you with some emotional support and practical advice. If nothing else, they will give you a shoulder to cry on, and we all need that at times like these.
7. Don’t try to run before you can walk
For most people, jumping straight back into the dating scene is not the best move immediately after a breakup. Dating someone when you are on the rebound is not fair to the person you date, because you won’t be over your ex yet. It also probably won’t do you a lot of good, because you will be making comparisons all the time. It’s better to leave it for a while, until you are really ready for another relationship.
8. Don’t look at the past through rose tinted glasses
It’s only natural that, right after a breakup, you reminisce about all the good times that you had with your ex, but be honest; it wasn’t all perfect, was it? Balance out the reminiscing with a reality check and remember the fights and the bad habits he had too.
9. Learn from the experience
You can turn a breakup into a positive experience by looking at what you can learn from it. Perhaps you could have behaved differently, or perhaps you could have chosen more wisely in the first place. We learn something new with every new person we meet, so take this as an opportunity to improve your understanding of other people, and of yourself.
10. Take your time
It does take time to get over a breakup, so don’t rush it. If you need a few months to get yourself back together, take it, because only you know exactly how you feel. We hope that these ten steps will help you start the next chapter in your life, but only you can decide when that will begin.