6 Tips on how to make the first move on your crush, if you are shy
Should a girl make the first move? Making the first move can be equally difficult for both men and women. In fact, it’s even tougher for guys, because in general, historically and culturally, they are the ones expected to make the first move, even if we’re now living in a much more gender-equal world, than ever before. On the other hand, the fact that ladies are not expected to make the first move makes things even harder for girls, especially, if you’re naturally shy, but you have a huge crush on a guy. Here are some tips that could help you to finally pick up the courage to approach your crush and it’s not as scary as you might think.
1. Become a body language expert
OK, that was a joke, of course, because it would take you really a long time to become an expert. However, it’s not that hard to become more conscious about the non-verbal signs that a guy is giving you. After all, the biggest fear we all have, when it comes to approaching someone, is the fear of rejection. So, be observant. Does your crush smile at you whenever he sees you? Does he look a bit nervous? Does he start to touch his hair when you are around? If yes, then it’s very likely that he’s as much interested in you as you are in him, but he is simply too shy to make that first step. So spend some time observing him before you decide whether you want to make the first move yourself or not.
2. Trust your intuition
Since we’re talking about shy people, chances are you’re consciously telling yourself that you will be rejected. But try and listen to your inner voice. Could it be that your inner voice tells you otherwise? Sometimes we unconsciously notice things, and we can feel the attitude of other people towards us. Yet, well too often we disregard what our intuition tells us and then we suffer the consequences, such as missing on good opportunities that could potentially grow into something wonderful. Listen to your inner voice and if it tells you: “Go for it!”, then go and ask him out.
3. One small secret
Here’s the secret that you may have heard of, but you probably didn’t believe it: guys fear rejection just as much as girls do and they too can find it very hard to ask a girl out. Knowing this, don’t you think that making the first move yourself, when you feel like it, could be a really good idea? Actually, shy guys often pretend to be overly-confident, and such behavior can push girls away. What if you’re both shy but you both pretend to look confident to one another…What if you both want one and same thing but hold back because of that illusion of confidence? Don’t lose your chances! When you see the opportunity, seize it. The scariest thing that can happen is that your crush might just say ‘no’.
4. Think about possible ‘what if’s’
Get rid of your irrational fear of rejection, but prepare for all possible outcomes of the situation. What’s the best thing that can happen? Well, you might learn that he’s just as much into you, as you are into him. What’s the worst? He can turn you down. Even if that happens, he’s not the last man on the planet and the world around us won’t stop turning, just because he said “No”. You’re a strong girl and you will survive, isn’t it a very liberating thought?
5. Some rules are made for breaking
Maybe one of the main reasons why girls avoid making the first move is that they are afraid to look desperate. But in reality, there’s nothing desperate about taking control of your own life in your own hands, and this includes making relationship choices. The problem here is that it’s very difficult to break certain established thinking patterns. So, motivate yourself by looking at some love stories about confident women who took control, made that first move and lived happily ever after. Think about how brave it is to break those empty, illusionary limits and social conventions, especially old and rusty ones. Be brave, you’ll feel proud of yourself!
6. Be yourself, be casual
If you’ve finally accepted the idea that you actually can make that first move, try to find a balance between your usual shyness and the newly found confidence, by being casual and by being yourself, it will definitely put your crush at ease. It’s best to invite your crush to some group event, a party or a movie. First of all, it’s safe, because even if he says ‘no’, he might not even guess the real reason behind your invitation, and if you’re shy, then you’d probably rather die, than have him realise that you fancy him. If your crush says ‘yes’ though, then you can meet him in a casual, relaxing environment, which wouldn’t be the same if you invited him to a romantic dinner for two, for example, unless you’re really sure about his feelings.
Chose the right time and make that bold step!
Should a girl make the first move? What are your thoughts?