6 Beautiful old school dating rules we should bring back to life
If a 14-year-old today watches a romantic movie made in the 50s, she’d probably see it as something so alien, it’s hardly possible that people ever lived like this. For a generation that’s basically growing up with a mobile phone as a fifth limb, the so-called old school romance is perhaps something exotic. And it’s not just this generation – we are all becoming increasingly alienated, what with all the texting, skyping, and facebooking that we do daily. When’s the last time you physically met your best friend from high school? Months? Years? And dating? Did you know that a third of all marriages nowadays are the outcome of a relationship that started online? That’s actually great, that the internet brings people together. Yet as we spend more and more time online, we start forgetting precious experiences that can make a date that bit more exciting and enjoyable. Here are six of old school dating tips.
1. No change of plans
In the pre-mobile phone/internet era, people did not have constant contact with each other. When a man asked a woman out, the date was written down and none of the parties had a lot of opportunities to pull out for whatever reason. Nowadays, we might change our mind about a date at the last moment and call the other person on their mobile to apologise. In the olden days this was impossible (not counting being stood up, which is simply rude). A date was a form of commitment, however small and temporary, and the ability to commit is a sign of maturity, you know.
2. Pick up your date, see her home
This old school dating rule is the gentlemanly thing to do but we never seem to expect it, and men to think of it, anymore. That’s a consequence of radical feminism, a by-product of women finally getting to be recognised as men’s equals, and also a consequence of a dynamically changing society. We live in good times generally, we can talk about anything in “mixed company” (unlike, say, the people in Victorian England), but it’s a bit sad that dates tend to be more casual somehow, more impersonal. Just imagine your date coming to your house to pick you up, take you to a nice restaurant, hold doors open for you, etc., etc. Romantic, right?
3. Talk, don’t spill your guts
No topic is taboo today, we can talk pretty much about anything, including our own past intimate lives and other people’s. Basically, what we do is either gossip at dates or reveal ourselves, often to an unnecessary degree. What happened to discussing ideas? People used to do that, you know. They talked about philosophy, they talked about politics, if you want, about abstract stuff. Sounds boring? No, it was interesting. Are we really so out of any new ideas to discuss? Has everything been said? We seriously doubt it and we firmly believe that such old-school conversations have a place at a modern date too.
4. May I have this dance?
We don’t dance anymore, have you noticed? We flirt with our bodies in night clubs but we don’t dance for the sheer joy of dancing. And we don’t get asked to dance, isn’t this sad? Those over 30 perhaps fondly remember their first dance, when they were growing up. The first time a boy took their hand and then both were immersed in the music. Such memories are precious, and asking a lady for a dance is definitely one of the old-school dating habits we should try to resurrect. Why just save the slow dance for the wedding? What happens if you don’t believe in marriage? Make a note, men, take your date dancing, she’ll appreciate it.
5. Have special clothes
This old school dating rule may sound silly in a time when we have complete freedom in matters of dressing for any occasion, but making a special effort when going on a date, having a special outfit, can give you a nice warm feeling of anticipation that will make the experience all the nicer. We don’t doubt for a moment that you make everything in your power to look your best when it’s a really important date, and good for you. Part of that is the special outfit, and don’t worry if she/he will notice. Yes, they will.
6. I come bearing flowers and chocolates
Once upon a time, when a gentleman called on a lady, he went with flowers and a box of chocolates or some such little treat. Today we text each other to go hang out some place, we don’t even call dates dates, how about that? We believe that the habit of bringing a little token of affection to your date when you go to pick her up and take to a movie followed by a dinner, you know, like people used to do in the olden days, is one of the sweetest things a man can do. By the way, you might think this is only valid for first dates, for the early stages of a relationship but that’s not necessarily true. The great thing about old-school romance is that it can work equally well with “old” couples, as one way of keeping that flame alive.
Do you have other old school dating tips?