10 First date tips that can lead you to the second date and even further
If you have ever been on a first date and it never progressed to a second, then you might have been wondering what went wrong. Was it your clothes, your hair, or did you say something to offend him? The answer is probably not quite so simple and it could be that you were expecting too much, or trying too hard. The purpose of a first date is just to see how well you get on and not to find out if he is husband material, so relax, take it easy and follow these tips on how to get a first date to lead to more.
1. Be attentive
Looking like you actually want to be there would be a good move! Look interested in what he has to say and don’t be distracted by what else might be going on. Don’t sit playing with your phone, or watching people pass by outside. Listen to what he is saying and make it a two way conversation. If you listen carefully, you can reuse some of what he has said and he will be really impressed by the fact that you were paying such close attention to him.
2. Do show him that you have a mind of your own
Although you want to impress him, that doesn’t mean that you have to agree with every single thing that he says. If he asks you what kind of restaurant you would prefer, for example, then be decisive and choose one. If you just agree with him all the time, you won’t come across as being an interesting person to be with.
3. Let him pay, if he wants to
It may well seem a little bit old fashioned, but most men really do like to be the gentlemen, especially on the first date. If he offers to pay for the date, then let him. It isn’t a sexist move on his part; it’s just his way of thanking you for spending the time with him.
4. Put him at his ease
He will probably be just as nervous as you are and you will both be trying your best to make a good impression, so do what you can to make him feel at ease. Keep the conversation light and friendly, keep eye contact with him when you talk and do what you can to break the ice. It can be difficult to do this when you are nervous too, but the sooner you both relax, the more chance there will be of a second date.
5. Don’t rush him
Remember that this is only a first date and that your objective is to get a second date, not to get him to bed, or to start making plans for the future. If you move too fast on a first date, you will scare some guys away, so even if you really like the guy, leave some things to the imagination and he will want to come back for more.
6. Avoid the awkward topics of conversation
One way to guarantee that you don’t get a second date would be to get into an argument with him over an important issue. Even if you feel really strongly about an issue, express your opinions if you need to, but don’t get into a fight about it. Avoid the potentially controversial topics if you can and keep the conversation light. You can have the heavy debates another time.
7. Don’t lie to impress
There might be some things that you don’t want to talk about on a first date, but don’t tell lies just to impress him. If you pretend to like something that you don’t, or pretend to be someone that you are not, the chances are that he will see through the lies anyway. Even if he doesn’t, you will have to come clean later on if you do start to date him regularly.
8. Don’t tell him everything about you on a first date
Don’t give him your full life story on a first date. For one thing, you don’t know him well enough to tell him all your private secrets, and for another, you are going to want to have something to talk about in your second date. If you leave him with some unanswered questions, then he will want to ask you out again to find out more about you.
9. Don’t let the date go on for too long
First dates can be a little awkward, so don’t let the date drag on for too long. The next time you meet, you will both feel more relaxed and have more to talk about and, like we said, you want him to be left with a need to know more about you, not feeling that the date dragged on for too long.
10. Tell him that you want to see him again
If you did like him, and you do want to see him again, then don’t be shy about saying so. Some guys are pretty shy and they will wait for some indication from you that you would like a second date. At the very least, make sure that he has your phone number and ask him to call.