10 Dating Red Flags To Avoid (Dating Tips For Girls)
If you’ve been single for quite some time, you might be ready to get back into dating with a view to long-term success. Perhaps you’ve had enough time to yourself now, and realise that, yup, it’s time to find Mr Right.
Dating can be fun and exciting, and it can be filled with promise that he’s the one. But it can also be crammed with lots of (often hidden) red flags that should tell you some thing’s wrong here. Unfortunately, many of us miss these red flags (even when they’re being thrust right in front of our faces), and we end up wasting our time before having our hearts broken.
So to help you out as you get yourself out on the dating scene, let’s take a look at 10 dating red flags to avoid.
1. The List-Makers
If you’ve decided that online dating is for you, the list-makers are the guys who make a huge list of all the things they find unattractive in a date. You know, they don’t want liars, time-wasters, cheaters, girls taller than themselves, and so on.
What they’re basically saying is they don’t want anyone. They’re not ready yet, and getting with them will only end in disappointment when they get scared and randomly delete their profiles.
2. Self-Doubt And Anxiety
Another one of dating red flags to avoid is too much self-doubt and anxiety. Okay, self-doubt can be one of those human imperfections that we warm towards, but when a date is doubting everything about himself, it can be tiresome. Moreover, it can come across as neediness.
For example, if he leaves you a voicemail and says: “I’m leaving you this because you’re either avoiding my calls or just busy,” it’s a way of trying to make you feel guilty for missing (avoiding) his calls. He might also say that: “It seems as though I’m more into you than you are into me.”
This is another red flag that hints at the kind of neediness you really could do without. Avoid and move on.
3. Too Much Involvement
Next one of clear dating red flags is too much involvement. Let us explain. A guy who wants to have a say in everything you do should be one to be wary of. At first, it might seem like he’s a really lovely guy who would do anything for anyone.
After a month it quickly becomes apparent that he’s a very annoying guy who will literally do anything for you. He becomes overbearing and dominant, and gets angry if you do something without consulting him first. Rather than indulge his “caring nature”, we suggest that you shoot that red flag right on down and get back to Netflix.
4. Selfish Guys
When you’re getting to know a guy, it’s normal to bounce questions off one another. An excellent date will be as interested in you as you are in them. A selfish guy, though, will ask no questions. He’ll want you to do all the asking, and he’ll be enjoy giving out the answers.
This is an indicator of self-obsession and should be avoided. The date might be kinda fun, but in the long-term, your relationship will be all about him: his needs and his goals. He will decide everything – including what you wear. What at first might seem like a teeny bit of selfishness could turn out into an all-out control freak.
And we don’t want that, do we?
5. A Bad First Date
Another one of dating red flags to avoid is a bad first date. Just like many things in life, first impressions count on your first date. If he turns up and he’s distracted – or drunk – it should set the tone for your subsequent dates.
Basically, the guy is a bit of a deadbeat who couldn’t really care less about you. If a guy can’t sort himself out for a first date, what can he sort himself out for? What does it tell you about the kind of shambolic, careless life he lives?
6. He’s Seeing Someone But He Can Always End It
This is one of those dating red flags that you should not only avoid, but run very speedily from. Some guys (and girls) are adherents of polygamy, but certainly most of us aren’t. It could well be that you date a guy who, it turns out, is already seeing someone (casually/on-off), and wonders if this will be a problem for you.
Well, you’re freaking well sure it will be a problem! Waiter! Check, please!
Sure, the guy might offer to break it off with this other girl “if you want me to”, but the very fact that he’s into two or three girls at one time is a big fat dating red flag. Who does he think he is? A king with eight wives? You want love, not a damaged relationship where the guy will “be there just as soon as I’m done with Mary!”
7. He Loves You Already
N’aww, look at that! He’s fallen so in love with you after just two days that he’s throwing pebbles at your bedroom window in the middle of the night! It’s another one of dating red flags! Be aware.
Let’s take a closer look at that sentence. He’s fallen in love with you after just two days. The red flag should begin to rise about now. Secondly, he’s throwing pebbles at your bedroom window. Hmm, this is where you sleep, right? Thirdly, it’s the middle of the night.
This means only one thing – he wants to get in your pants. Any guy that falls ‘head over heels’ in love with you almost immediately is just trying to make sure he gets in trousers. Avoid. Like. The. Plague. With this one, there isn’t just one red flag – there are about 20 of ‘em.
8. Addiction To Email
If you’ve indulged in online dating and feel as though it’s time to meet this guy, you might be a little frustrated that he keeps on putting off that nervy first date.
My car has broken down. Sucks.
Ah, can’t make it. My mom has surprised me by flying over from Denver.
I’ve been struck down by lightning.
If a guy is seemingly happy to just stick to emails, it suggests that he can’t meet up with you, because he’s already married or he has another secret. Sorry, but that’s the way these type of things usually go.
We’re all inclined to a bit of laziness now and then, but if your date is the kind of slob who literally doesn’t seem to do anything except play on his video game in his slacks, you have to seriously wonder whether this guy has any kind of long-term plans. This is another one of clear dating red flags to avoid.
Even worse, if he never answers the phone before noon, you know you’ve got a problem. If you’re looking for a life partner who has life goals, you’d be best advised avoiding the ones with lazyitus.
10. Poor Decision-Maker
If you want a strong, confident guy, you’re not going to find it in a man who can’t make up his mind about anything. This is the type of guy who hesitates about what career path to take, whether or not to move to a new flat, or when to do a wash. He’s either dating you because he needs a stronger +2 to help him make the decisions, or he’s dating you to pass the time because he doesn’t know what he wants.
Do you know other dating red flags that we all should avoid?