10 Ways To Tell If You Are Happy In A Relationship
We all have to live with doubts from time to time, but when doubts start creeping in about your relationship, they can be really wrenching. From being blissfully happy with your partner to suddenly questioning whether you wanted more from a relationship, doubts can knock us off course momentarily and rock our once stable world.
Perhaps you’ve looked at your friends’ relationships and seen how much fun they’re having. Maybe they’ve moved in with their partners, got a mortgage and are expecting children. This can cause you to reflect on what you’ve got with your partner, wondering whether this is all you ever wanted or if you perhaps thought things would have worked out differently. Are you really where you wanted to be right now?
If you’re unsure whether you are happy in your relationship right now, here are 10 things that can help you decide.
If You’re Happy, You Spend Time Doing Things You Both Enjoy
When we first get together with someone, there are few compromises. You agree to do what he wants to do, and he agrees to do what you want to do. You want to woo and impress one another and show your love.
If, however, things have reached the point where you no longer spend time together doing things you both get something out of, it might be time to start putting your foot down. If you seem to be doing things to please him all the time but aren’t being allowed to do what you want to do, you should assess whether this is the way things are always going to be, or whether he’s prepared to make compromises again.
If You’re Happy, You Fight Productively
No couple enjoys fighting, but fights inevitably happen in any relationship. Whether you’ve been together for a month or fifty years, arguments happen.
If you’re happy, though, fights are productive and finish with a few compromises and apologies. You argue your corner and he listens, and then he argues his corner while you listen. This is all part of growing together.
If, however, your arguments end with you throwing a plate at your partners head, while he in turn stomps out to the pub, it’s probably safe to say that you might not be entirely happy right now.
If You’re Happy, You Each See Your Own Friends
Few things dampen our spirits in a relationship when we’re told that we can’t spend any time with out oldest friends because either our partner doesn’t like them or wants us all to themselves.
At first, it’s cute. Eventually, though, it starts to feel controlling and possessive.
If you’re happy in a relationship, you’ll have the freedom to see whoever you want as often as you want.
Your partner will also have the same liberty, too.
If You’re Happy, You’ve Still Got Your Identity
When some people get into a relationship, they ask for a few changes.
“Yeah, I think you’re really super awesome, but if you could just change this for me.”
At first, you might agree to a few changes. Changes, after all, is sometimes necessary and just a part of life. Maybe you were smoking too much or perhaps your partner didn’t like the fact you swore like a sailor. No big deal.
If, however, you feel as though you’re a totally different person now then you were when you got into this relationship, you might need to question what’s gone wrong.
If You’re Happy, You Push Each Other To Do Better
Happy couples want what is best for each other. This means they also inspire and encourage each other to pursue their dreams and live the life they want.
Unhappy couples are pessimists who pretend to be realists. They pour cold water on each others’ dreams because “we’ve got bills to pay.”
Instead of pushing each other to do better, they make excuses and say that you need to come shopping instead of doing your coursework.
When we make each other better, it’s a sign that we’re in a loving, meaningful and happy relationship.
If You’re Happy, You Look Forward To Spending Time With Him
Ask yourself whether or not you still look forward to doing things with your partner. Do you still enjoy cooking with him, going out for dinner with him and taking walks?
Or would you rather do all these things alone or with your friend?
If it’s the former, you’re definitely still happy. If, however, you’ve started making excuses because you want to spend time elsewhere, you might need to ask yourself how happy you really are.
If You’re Happy, You Brag About Your Partner
Do you like to brag to your friends about your boyfriends achievement? Maybe you enjoy telling your friends and work colleagues about how proud you are of him, and how talented he is. If so, you’re surely happy with him.
If, on the other hand, you can’t remember when was the last time you spoke highly of your boyfriend, you may need to question where this relationship is going. We should be proud of our partners, and we should want to talk about them. If you don’t feel like doing, it’s a cause for concern.
If You’re Happy, “I Love You” Still Means Everything
Just the simple but powerful words “I love you” put a smile on everyones face when we’re in a happy relationship.
But if things aren’t going well, you sometimes hesitate before telling your partner you love them. Do you still love them or have these words lost their meaning and value?
If You’re Happy, You Each Have Your Own Space
Happy partners should be able to give each other space. Wanting to spend every last minute with someone is more a sign of control and ownership than love.
If your partner gives you room to pursue your own hobbies and do your own thing, it creates a lot of happiness.
If, however, he stifles you by demanding you do everything with him, it could be the reason you’re questioning your relationship.
If You’re Happy, Stupid Mistakes Are Allowed To Happen
When couples are in an unhappy relationship, stupid little mistakes can turn into flaming rows.
If, however, things are cool, couples talk about the silly mistake – and then move on.