10 Tips on how to choose the right person for marriage
With divorce rates as high as they are now, it might seem that many people have forgotten how to choose the right person for marriage. Marriage is supposed to be far more than a date or even a long term boyfriend. Marriage is supposed to be partnership for life and commitment that won’t be broken. So, if you do want to get married, but you don’t want your marriage to end in tears, just how do you pick the right person to get married to? Here are some ideas of what you should be thinking about when you are looking for someone to marry.
1. Are you ready for marriage?
Before we even get into tips on choosing the right person for marriage, you have to ask yourself, are you the right person to be getting married? Marriage is a big commitment and not something that should be entered into lightly. Be sure that you are ready for that and be sure that want to get married for the right reasons.
2. Look for a shared vision of the future
One of the first things that you should look for in a man that you may want to marry is a shared vision of the future. Do you both want to settle down and have children, for example, or are your careers more important to you? Sharing the same taste in music is all well and good, but it will take a lot more than that to keep a marriage going.
3. Does he get on with your family?
When you get married, you become a part of your partner’s family and he becomes a part of yours. You could argue that, if you love each other, then it shouldn’t make any difference at all. The reality is, though, if either one of you do not get on with the other’s family, that could cause you problems in the future.
4. Does he treat you with respect?
Respect comes in all kinds of forms. Does he listen to what you have to say, respects your opinion and always treats you in the way that you would like to be treated? When you are choosing a man to marry, you should think about how he treats you now, because you will be committing yourself to a lifetime with this guy and, if he doesn’t respect you now, that is unlikely to change in the future.
5. Put yourself first
You have to be pretty selfish when you are choosing someone to marry and you need to ask yourself if getting married to this person will allow you to be the person that you want to be. Think about where you would like to be in ten, twenty or even thirty, years’ time and then see what type of guy you can see in that picture with you.
6. Choose someone that you can talk to and who will listen
Communication in a marriage is very important and that communication needs to be a two way thing. Look for someone with whom you can hold a meaningful conversation and for someone who doesn’t expect to take all the decisions for you.
7. Look for kindness
Another important trait to look for in a man that you may want to marry is kindness. Look at how he treats other people, how he interacts with his family, and how understanding he is of people who are less fortunate than himself. How he treats other people now, may be a good indication of how he will treat you in the future.
8. Take notice of what your friends and family say
If all your friends hate the guy you are dating, then there has to be a reason for that. You can’t let friends and family dictate how you run your own life, but sometimes, they can see things that you can’t, because you are too close to the situation. At the very least, listen to what people have to say and think about it, because they will have more of an objective view than you will.
9. Look for someone who takes his responsibilities seriously
If someone is going to be your lifelong partner, then you are going to want them to be a person who takes their responsibilities seriously. They will have a responsibility towards you and, perhaps, one day, to children as well. You don’t want to take on joint financial commitments with a man, only to find that he suddenly decides to become an off-grid survivalist living in a tent on his own!
10. Look for someone who loves you for who you are
When you get married, neither of you should expect the other to change. Don’t marry a man who thinks that you can change or that you think will change as soon as they get married and, likewise, don’t get married to a guy who won’t let you be yourself. A lifetime is a long time, so choose your partner wisely and choose someone that you really love.