10 Relationship Red Flags That You Shouldn’t Ignore
Got into a relationship recently that you’re unsure about? Here are 10 relationship red flags that you shouldn’t ignore.
When we’re dating someone we really like, it’s all too easy to ignore the warnings that – actually – this guy isn’t right for us. There clearly isn’t something right: He often cancels dates, turns up late, and has been spotted by your friends with other women.
And what about the time you caught him kissing another woman?!
“Oh, he was clearly trying to save her from choking on her own tongue!” you say, excusing his behaviour.
We’ve all been there. But sometimes there are warning signs that are just too strong to ignore. And recognising them can save you from heartache, allowing you to move on as soon as possible so that you can find Mr Right.
Here are 10 relationship red flags that you shouldn’t ignore:
You’ve Been Scared By His Moods In The Past
We all get moody. But should someone’s bad mood physically scare you? No!
Look, guys get annoyed. If they’re watching a sports game and their favourite team is losing 20-0, of course they’ll get annoyed. They might even get a bit angry. It’s allowed. Perhaps they’ll curse at the referee or something.
But it’s when his anger and black moods are directed at you that you should be concerned.
If he’s lashed out at you in the past and actually scared you, that’s a pretty serious sign that this guy has issues and needs help. In the meantime, to make sure you don’t feel his wrath again, you might want out.
You saw a picture of a girl on his phone as you walk past him. You ask him who it was but he quickly turns his phone off and won’t tell you.
This kind of behaviour is alarming and has no place in a relationship. Tread carefully.
You Find It Hard To Talk To Him
Communication is one of the bedrocks of a healthy relationship. If you can’t talk openly to your partner about the things that are on your mind, where is this relationship heading?
A couple should be able to express their feelings with one another with confidence. If his way of dealing with confrontation and the bigger issues is to sulk or just ignore them, you may have a man-child on your hands who hasn’t quite grown up yet.
He Isn’t Affectionate In Public
There are one or two explanations as to why he doesn’t seem to like touching you in public. It could be that his past experiences have made him timid, or maybe he just doesn’t go in for public affection.
But it could also be that he’s hiding something.
It’s okay to be all sensitive about touching you in public if he’s nervous. But if you reached out for him, he would for sure respond. He would hug you and hold your hand. Why not?
But if he totally refuses to even hold your hand in public, you should take it as a warning sign that something isn’t quite right.
He Won’t Take Responsibility
It was his turn to wash the dashes today, but they never got done. He blames you for not reminding him, of course.
For a relationship to survive, both of you need to be able to take responsibility for things. If his main responsibility is his video game, you need to ask yourself where this relationship can really go. How will he be when it comes to the big stuff?
He Is Hyper Critical
Our partners are supposed to encourage, not criticise. In a world full of critics, your boyfriend is supposed to be the one guy you can really on to be your encourager.
If, however, your man is full of more criticism than praise, it’s another sign that perhaps he isn’t right for you. Whether it’s your new dress, your hair, the way you talked to his parents, or your career, he always seems to have something negative to say.
This kind of thing can be really exhausting. If he has ridiculously high standards that it’s clear you’ll never meet, you may want to reconsider this relationship.
He Is Dishonest
A strong relationship is built on trust. The moment you catch him out for telling a pretty big lie is the moment the solidity around your relationship weakens. All of a sudden, you’re not sure if you can trust him ever again. Whenever he tells you something, you question to yourself if he is really telling the truth or not.
If he lies one, two or three times, you have a dishonest man on your hands. You then have to ask yourself – what else is he lying about? Is there something else that he isn’t telling me?
Liars tend not to change. Be careful.
He Doesn’t Like Your Friends Or Family
Not only does he not like them, but he’s tried convincing you that they’re no good for you either.
Why? Because he wants to control you, turn others against you so that he can have you all for himself.
And this type of guy is one you need to run very, very far from.
He Needs To Know Everything About You
He doesn’t just want to know everything about you in order to get to know more about you so that you guys can grow closer. He needs to know everything about you in order to satisfy some things in his mind.
Some guys are innately suspicious and jealous. It’s these kinds of guys who want to know everything about you. And once they know it all, they use it against you.
If your man demands to know every little thing you did today and every little thing you’ve done before, take it as a warning that he wants to control and possess you. And then ask yourself if this is the kind of guy you really want to be with.
He’s Not Ambitious
At first you might have thought it was cool that he was so laid-back about his future. Maybe it was even a bit refreshing.
Now, though, it’s clear that he wasn’t just on a break from work. He actually has no ambitions or plans at all.
This is a red flag because a guy without ambitions is hardly going to have any desire to take the relationship much further than his parents bedroom.