How To Stop Complaining And Start Living
“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.”
Everybody complains about something at some point in their lives, but there are those of us complain more than others.
I used to be a serial complainer. I would complain about everything, from trivial matters that had no real bearing on my life, to big things that I was powerless to even do anything about.
Complaining made me feel better. It didn’t really change my situation, but it somehow made me feel better knowing that I had vented my frustrations. I didn’t feel happier, though – and that was the rub.
Complaining doesn’t really get you anywhere. Instead, it floods you with negative energy and stops you from taking action and actually doing something that will benefit you and improve your life.
Complaining also exhausts those around you, to the point where nobody wants to hang out with you anymore. After all, you’re only going to complain when you see them. Whether the barista didn’t put enough coffee in the milk or it’s raining again, you’re going to bore them with your complaints.
If you’ve realised that complaining has saddled you with a negative attitude and stopped you from living your life to the max, here are a few ways you can stop complaining and start living.
Change The Way You Think
Changing the way we think is not exactly easy because our brains have come so accustomed to thinking one way. But the way you think is certainly not fixed, and it is possibly to change the way you perceive things and process information.
But how do you go from being disturbed by the sight of thorns to joyful by the presence of roses?
The main thing to do is to start being more mindful. As soon as you say something negative, give yourself a kick to remind you to be more positive. Force yourself to be perceive things with a positive attitude. Instead of saying “I can’t do this,” start saying “I can totally do this!”
I used to spend half of my day complaining. And for some reason, I actually quite enjoyed it!
Eventually, it did get draining. But because I was complaining about so many things, I found it really difficult to be thankful for anything.
One day, I was convinced by a friend to make a list of all the things that I had to be thankful for in my life. This list could include anything, from my healthy and my family, to smaller but now less powerful things, such as the flowers in my garden and the fact that I had clean running water to drink from.
You could make such a list, too. It will certainly help you to start appreciating what you have so that you spend far less time complaining about things that don’t really matter.
Be More Assertive
If you don’t complain about anything, you might be worried that you’re about to become someone’s doormat. But this isn’t true. Especially if you become more assertive as a person.
Being assertive means telling other people what you need. It means being confident enough to stand up straight, offer a firm handshake, and establish eye contact. It means clearly saying exactly what you want, articulating your words so that there can’t be any misunderstandings.
If you are more assertive, you are more likely to get what you want. This in turn can reduce the need to complain.
Do What Makes You Happy
Sometimes, we find ourselves having a good moan because we just aren’t doing the things that make us happy. We’re sat at home in our slacks, watching awful television shows while munching on junk food. Bored and listless, we can’t think of anything else to do but grumble.
Take yourself away from this vicious cycle by double downing on the things that make you happy. Find a hobby that brings you joy and partake in it. Get outdoors, call up your friends, head out on the town and let your hair down. Remove yourself from negative vibes.
Take Care Of Your Mind & Body
When things are going wrong with our mind and body, it’s very easy to get stressed. And once we’re stressed, it’s then very easy to start complaining about the world and everyone in it.
If you’re working too many hours at the moment, ask your boss if you can take a bit of a step back. If you’re eating all the wrong foods, start eating healthier. Look after your skin, nourish your mind with books, hit the gym or learn how to dance.
Often, people who have let themselves go find it to be happy and love themselves. It is then that they start finding fault with everything around them.
Don’t Take Things So Seriously
I used to be a serial complainer, but now that I’m a happier, more positive person, I can see how other people get weight down by grumbling about life. I have a friend who absolutely hates the rain. If there is a shower when we’re outdoors, she instantly goes into a bad mood. She blames God and karma, shakes her fist at the heavens, screams at people who are in her way, and assumes that the weather is somehow out to get her.
If you get really angry over small, insignificant things – such as bad weather – instead of complaining, why not see the funny side instead? Rather than getting irritated, look around you as everyone cowers from the rain. Have a giggle as you and your friend plough onwards to the shops, absolutely soaking wet.
When things go wrong, it’s really easy to give up and ask: “Why always me? Why not them?”
Obstacles are presented to all of us. The people who succeed are those who confronted life’s obstacles and climbed over them. They didn’t lie down, ask Why? and give up. Instead, they got back on the horse, and try again.
Instead of complaining, it’s important that you learn from mistakes and do better the second time around. Everybody fails at something. What’s important is how you react.