10 Tips For Spending Time Alone And Loving It
Is it possible to spend time alone and actually enjoy it? It totally is!
When I was younger, I read a novel by the Russian writer Vladimir Nabokov. The book was called Pale Fire, and I was really struck by this quote:
“Solitude is the play field of Satan.”
The quote stuck with me for a long time afterwards. I had already struggled though depression and anxiety in my mid-teens, and didn’t want to go through that again. I was determined to do anything to prevent myself from being alone.
However, as I got older I learned a few things. One of them was that solitude does not have to be the “play field of the devil” at all. Moreover, spending time by ourselves is incredibly important if we’re to understand who we truly are.
And isn’t it during our alone times that we create our best work?
Before you can love other people, you have to be able to love yourself. And you can never love yourself if you’re running away from yourself all the time.
Here are my top ten tips for spending time alone and loving it.
Find Out What You Like To Do Best When Alone
Have you ever been so bored while on you’re own that you actually say out loud to yourself, “I’M SO BORED”? It drives you crazy!
This is because you’re so clearly focussed on the wrong things while you’re alone.
To be happy when spending time alone, it’s important that you figure out what it is that would make you feel more satisfied – and then go and do it.
Take Your Time
Enjoying your own company won’t happen straight away. At first, this will feel daunting and you might start to panic that you can’t do this. But before you ring up a boyfriend who broke up with you ten years ago to tell him you’ve changed, just take a time-out and remind yourself that this will take time.
Think back to vacations you’ve been on. Many times, we feel disoriented on the first two days because we’re so far from home. We miss things. As time passes, however, we get comfortable with our new surroundings.
That’s all you need right now – time.
Write A Blog
Literally all of my friends tell me they wish they had time to write a blog. If you wish you had the time, too, well, what are you waiting for?
Writing a blog is a great way of keeping your mind focused while alone. You can pick any subject you want and write about your experiences.
You could publish it to the Internet for others to read, or you could keep it personal. Either way, when you start writing, all kinds of new ideas will enter your mind that you never previously though about. It’s a fab way of filling up time while you’re on your own.
Studying something new expands your mind and makes you feel better about yourself. And what better time to do it now that you’re on your own for a bit?
Free Yourself From The Idea That You Need Other People
Okay, so you’ve decided that you can’t go to the cinema today because no one wants/can go with you. So you’re just gonna stay at home and do some cleaning instead. This makes you thoroughly despondent because you REALLY wanted to go and watch a movie.
And while we’re on the subject, you’re not only despondent, you’re also a little bit annoyed at your friend.
“She never makes the effort!” you yell while shaking your broom stick in the air.
It’s not her fault that she couldn’t make it. But you’re at fault here for waiting on her to make you happy.
Don’t rely on other people for your happiness. You can easily go to the cinema and enjoy a movie all by yourself. What’s stopping you? Social stigmas? Come on. You’re a big girl. Go and make yourself happy. Use three seats up – one for you, one for your popcorn and one for your bag. Be free.
Listen To Your Favourite Music
Life alone becomes so much better when you load up your favourite tunes and have a dance.
And because you’re on your own, you can play the music as loud as you want, and dance as crazily as you like.
When we’re alone, it can be really easy for the silence around us to effect us in a negative way. This sort of external stimuli can leave us feeling uneasy, and it can remind us that we’re on our own now. So bust out some jams and listen to your favourite music.
Probably the worst thing you can do if you’re new to spending lots of time alone is not having anything to do. If you’re life is in a transitory state at the moment and you’re between jobs or freshly out of a relationship, you’ve probably got more time on your hands than you’d ideally like.
In such a situation, it’s important that you find a way of staying busy. Maybe you could get creative or read some books. Perhaps now is the time to work on those chores you’ve been putting off forever, or how about doing a bit of travelling?
Make Plans For The Future
A few years ago, I spent a few months on my own. It was an incredibly opportunity for self-evaluation. I got to ask myself who I really was and where I was going in life. Moreover, I had the time to ask myself what I wanted from life.
Planning my future made me happy, and I think it will make you happy, too. Make some goals. Envision what your life will look like in six months from now.
Now that you’re going to be spending a bit of time by yourself, there has probably never been a better time in your life to do some travelling. You’re free to go where you want without anyone telling you “no, let’s go here instead.”
Travelling also gets you away from familiar surroundings that can send you stir crazy, especially if you’re new to being alone. It gets you out of your home and takes you somewhere new.
Appreciate The Silence
Finally, instead of fighting the silence, it’s time to embrace it. Learn to live with it and use it to your advantage. Enjoy it. Listen to it. Spend some time with your thoughts. See what you can come up with.