10 Lifesaving Tips On How To Overcome Bitterness And Regret
Sometimes, life just doesn’t work out the way we want it to. Things go wrong, people betray us, and we’re left with a heap of bitterness and regret.
As you know, these feelings are far from positive. They’re debilitating, and can greatly affect how much enjoyment we get out of life. We stop going out, we stop doing things … we stop trying.
In a way, bitterness is one of the very worst emotions you can feel. It’s worse than anger because, where anger is an energy we can feed off, bitterness makes us feel trapped, helpless and as though we just don’t care anymore.
You’ve heard the phrase “old and bitter.” Nobody wants to grow old and bitter, and be filled with regret. It suggests that we weren’t able to overcome our problems, and so gave up.
If you want to fight the negativity, here are 10 lifesaving tips on how to overcome bitterness and regret.
When we’ve been building up feelings of bitterness and regret for so long, we forget the amazing things we have in life. We forget to appreciate our health, our friends, and the fact that life has so much potential.
We forget to appreciate the small and big miracles that are playing out all around us.
Spend time writing down all the things you should be grateful for. Read them over and remember how fortunate you are.
Start Telling The Truth
Bitterness is at its best when you’re feeling sorry for yourself. It breeds on self-pity and loathing. It wants you to feel like a victim. It wants you to feel like a woman scorned, to whom the gods carved out a path laden with ambushes.
But when you push this narrative, you’re really punishing yourself. By telling yourself that you’re always the victim, you’re not consoling yourself. You’re just making things a whole lot worse.
So re-evaluate the facts of the case. Have you been telling yourself the truth all the time? Or are there parts of the story that you’ve left out? Are you really the victim whom Fate has conspired against? Or have you made mistakes, too?
Be Positive About The Future
The great thing about life is that there is always a way out. When you’re feeling bitter, it’s easy to feel helpless – to feel as though there is no way out. But there is. There always is.
But it’s important first and foremost that you start to be more positive about the future.
For example, if you’re still bitter about a past relationship, how will you meet someone new? People want to meet positive people.
Change your mindset. Remember that there is still a long way to go. Recalibrate, readjust. Find a new way. It’s out there.
People who regret their decisions are usually quite poor at taking responsibility.
People who harbour bitterness are usually very bad at taking responsibility.
Winners take responsibility, even for things they didn’t do. They like to own up to their mistakes, because it gives them the chance to make amends straight away and do better next time.
When you don’t take responsibility, you’re missing out on the chance to learn and avoid the same thing happening twice.
Own up to things. Admit you made a bad call straight away, and immediately set to work on fixing it.
Disable Social Media
It depends what you’re bitter about. But if social media is fuelling the fire, it’s time to deactivate your accounts for a while and take yourself out of the firing line.
When we see others doing better than ourselves, we don’t always react the way we should. We get bitter. We compare ourselves unfavourably, we get jealous and it can stop us from achieving our own goals.
Remove yourself from social media. You’ll feel so much better knowing that you can’t check to see how much fun such-and-such a person is having today. Instead, you’ll be able to focus solely on your own life and antics.
Go Out Among Nature
Leave social media behind and go out among nature. Take walks, smell the plants, meet animals. Absorb the sounds, smells and sights. Feel the sunshine on your face, let the breeze caress you. It will feel so refreshing.
Shift The Focus To The Solution
Okay, so you made a mistake in the past. Your life didn’t pan out quite the way you wanted it to.
But are you going to keep dwelling on the problem, or are you going to start focusing on finding a solution?
It’s time for you to now make some plans. Map out a new vision for your life. Set goals. Start focusing on the solution.
Learn To Forgive
Forgiving someone isn’t a case of letting them off the hook. When you forgive someone, they don’t get to feel great while you still feel lousy. Instead, forgiving someone means that you’re giving yourself a chance to heal and move on.
Until you forgive, that connection with the other person will remain. Bitterness will still be in your heart. Once you forgive, that connection is severed and you can get on with your life.
We’re not saying you should forgive immediately. Forgive at your own pace. But ultimately it’s important for your own peace of mind that you do forgive and forget.
Be Kinder To Yourself
Regret is intensified when we’re unkind to ourselves. Have you ever cursed yourself for making “such stupid mistakes”? Perhaps you’ve given yourself a hard time, wondering why the heck you would do such a thing.
Try being kinder to yourself. As well as forgiving others, forgive yourself, too. Be nice to yourself! Admit that you made a mistake, but remember that everyone is human and that we all make mistakes at some time or another.
Learn To Laugh Again
Finally, remember what it’s like to laugh again. You know how powerful laughter is. It really is the best medicine on the planet. Laughter reduces our stress levels, and makes even the most intense pain go away.
Watch your favourite comedy films. Gather together your funniest friends.