10 Things Only Vegetarians Can Understand
Being a vegetarian is a lifestyle choice, one that we commit to out of either ethical, religious, health or even intellectual reasons.
And with 6% of the population in England now vegetarian, and a staggering 40% of the Indian population vegetarian, you would think that this lifestyle choice has come to be accepted. Indeed, you would expect people to just shrug when you tell them you’re a veggie and simply say, “that’s cool.”
But nope. Being a vegetarian means you still get the same old puzzling looks, and the same old tired questions. As though you’ve done something, like, totally radical dude, your friends and family members continue to react with shock and infinite curiosity.
1. Everyone Suddenly Has An Opinion About Your Nutrition
“But you do realise you still have to get the right amount of nutrients into your diet, don’t you?”
“You do realise you’ve got to be a bit creative with how you get your protein, right?”
“What about iron and zinc? Have you even thought about those? Tell me, WHAT ABOUT IRON AND ZINC?!”
You become a veggie and all of a sudden the whole world is concerned about your nutrition. People you would not have expected to have even heard of protein suddenly start lecturing you about your protein intake! It’s best to just ignore them, of course – you probably know more about all this than they do.
2. People Ask Why
Why a veggie?
What’s the point?
Don’t be silly!
When you first become a vegetarian, folk just can’t help but pry into the reasons behind your decision. And even when you explain all, they’re still not convinced and want to keep on prying. It’s as though becoming a veggie is akin to committing suicide and your friends need an explanation!
3. But What About Eggs?
Oh gosh, the egg situation!
Veggies are always asked about the egg situation, as though whether you eat eggs or not is a life or death situation.
“Yeah, you’re a veggie, but do you eat eggs? You do? But what about egg whites? Do you eat those? Aha. But what about omelettes? Can veggies even eat those? I thought veggies couldn’t eat omelettes.”
Seriously, you just want to scream.
4. You Want A Cheeseburger, Don’t You? Admit It!
Tell someone you’re a vegetarian and within 5 minutes they’ll ask you if you’re still craving cheeseburgers and bacon.
Sometimes they’ll even eat a cheeseburger in front of you, and exaggerate how tasty it is, as though they’re getting to you. “Mmm, this is so good!”
The truth, though, is that our tastebuds adjust after around 30 days into a new diet. For this reason, no, we don’t want a cheeseburger! We just want our avocado rolls, thank you.
5. Eating Out With Pals Becomes Awkward
One of the biggest “problems” that face vegetarians is when they head out for food with their friends, who are all meat eaters.
Whilst a lot of restaurants these days do at least have a solitary “veggie option”, finding a decent veggie meal can still be tricky. Especially if you go to Burger King, where the only veggie option is a salad.
A salad! So whilst your friends are busting their hunger with burgers, you’re picking at a green salad.
Things like this makes eating out perennially difficult.
6. Not To Mention The Awkwardness Of A First Date
If you’ve been vegetarian for a while, you might not see any reason to inform your date. Perhaps it’s just not something that crosses your mind. No problem.
It can become a problem, however, if you end up eating out and forget that they’re probably going to want to go to their favourite steak house.
So you tug on their jacket. “Um. I forgot to say, and you’re gonna laugh about this, but I’m, um, I’m a vegetarian.”
Uh-oh. No steak for him!
7. You Can Eat Fish Though, Right?
No, I can’t eat fish!
The amount of folk that don’t seem to understand fish is meat might understand the non-veggies, but it drives vegetarians insane. If anyone asks you why you don’t eat fish, just explain to them that you don’t eat dead things.
That will silence them!
8. Your Mom Has No Idea What A Falafel Burger Is
You know how it is. You go to a hip restaurant that has a pretty cool selection of vegetarian meals, and you decide to order the falafel burger.
Your family is with you, though, and when you tell the waiter that you want a juicy falafel burger, your mom gets all confused.
“A waffle burger?” she says quietly to her husband. “Did she just order a waffle burger?”
“Yes. Yes, she did. Let’s pray for her, honey.”
If you want the strangest looks ever, though, go for the tofu.
9. You Can Pick Out The Meat!
Picture the scene: You’re at a friends house, and they’ve ordered pizza. Problem is, it’s got meat on it. Lots of meat.
So when it gets delivered and they ask you to grab yourself a few slices, you baulk at the precipice. You remind them that you’re a vegetarian.
“You can pick out the meat!”
Perhaps they’re just trying to be nice, but they don’t realise how oh so wrong, foolish and even patronising they sound. If you’re a veggie for ethical reasons, you can’t simply “pick the dead animal out.” This is not a game. Geez.
10. If I Offered You A Million Dollars, Would You Eat This Piece Of Meat?
Not sure, but if I was offered a million dollars to kill you I totally would!
Either people simply don’t get it, or they just love to wind us up. But at the end of it all, we, vegetarians, simply don’t eat meat. This means we don’t want meat. We don’t desire it, don’t need it. If we did, we wouldn’t be vegetarians!
Oh and one last thing before we go – how many more times are people going to say to us, “you do know that all those animals are going to be killed anyway, right?”
Yup, so I should eat bacon until I combust then!